The Story of My Life . . . Now In Graph Form!

see more Funny Graphs

A Pirate's Life For Me

Arr! Avast there, ye swabs! Once again, me mates aboard the good ship S. S. Blogosphere have reminded me that today be International Talk Like A Pirate Day, it be. So break out an extra ration of grog (or the refreshing beverage of your choice) for all hands and hoist a pint on yer own poop deck! (Mind now, you'll have to clean up any resulting poop!) Now go on and enjoy yerselves before I have ye clapped in irons and keelhauled, ye scurvy dogs!

While looking for something appropriate to post for this here auspicious occasion, I came across this interesting (and slightly disturbing) video on YouTube created by some swab calling himself thirteenthman. It's the skull on the Jolly Roger singing "A Pirate's Life for Me" from the original Pirates of the Caribbean attraction. I hopes every man-jack of ye enjoys it!



After seeing that, there's only one thing I can think of to say, and that's: Arr!

The Amazing Celtic Dancing Baby

I was looking for clips of Celtic music today on YouTube and I found the following item. This little guy is only five months old, and he already looks like a natural born stepdancer! He's gettin' jiggy with "Jig Party," a set of tunes by Natalie MacMaster, fiddle phenomenon from Cape Breton, Nova Scotia. Enjoy!

Pope In Scotland!

Happy Feast of St. Ninian, "the first apostle of Christianity in Scotland." By now, His Holiness, Pope Benedict XVI, has arrived in Scotland, only the second pope in history to visit Great Britain and the UK. Pope John Paul II visited England and Scotland in 1982. Below is a picture of the special papal tartan created for Benedict's visit by American tartan maker and Catholic Matthew Newsome:

From Mr. Newsome's blog:

The design incorporates white and yellow (the colors of the Vatican), white and blue (the colors of Scotland), white and red (the colors of John Henry Newman's arms, who will be beatified by Pope Benedict XVI during the visit), and green for the lichens growing on the stones at Whithorn, site of St. Ninian's church.

There are also 8 threads in the wide white line, one for each of the Catholic dioceses of Scotland, and exactly 452 threads pivot to pivot in the thread count, one for each Catholic parish in Scotland.

Judging from the comments on his blog, Mr. Newsome is already being besieged by requests for information about how to purchase neckties, scarves, kilts, and other articles of clothing in this tartan. I wouldn't mind having a tie like this myself. Och, it does m' auld Scots hairt guid tae see sic a thing!

Many people may not know this, but Scotland has a long and proud Catholic history. The document that is considered Scotland's declaration of independence, the Arbroath Declaration, is in fact a letter from a delegation of Scottish noblemen to Pope John XXII protesting English violation of Scottish sovereignty. The nobles insist that the Scots have historically been faithful sons of the Church, and that if the pope does not intercede for them and against the English, God will judge him unfavorably. Andrew Leslie, one of the signers of the Arbroath Declaration, may have been a distant ancestor of mine. Another Leslie ancestor, William, became rector of the Pontifical Scots College in Rome and wrote a family history.

Welcome to Scotland, Holy Father! Viva il papa! Lang may your lum reek! (Scottish expression meaning "Long may your chimney smoke," i.e., long life to you!)

Pup, the Accordion Playing Dog

Yes, you read that right. Pup plays the accordion in this rendition of "I Can't Give You Anything But Love." This will make your day.

Ads On The Site

Well, hey there! Remember me? The guy who runs this blog? I've been away for awhile for one reason or another. Just haven't had the heart for blogging much, to be honest. I'm experiencing a bit of a cash flow problem at the moment, so after some deliberation I've decided to sign up with Google AdSense and the Amazon Affiliates program as a way of earning a buck or two, perhaps. From now on until further notice (i.e., I see if this works or not), there will be ads on the site. If you see a product or service that strikes your fancy, click on through and visit the advertiser, thereby dropping a few coins in the tin cup of your humble blog host.

Thanks for your support.

Cheezburger of Teh Day

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Dolphins Blow Bubbles and Blow Your Mind

Here's a cool little video I found out about via e-mail. It seems some of the dolphins at SeaWorld (in Florida, I think) have learned to blow bubbles, shape them into perfect rings, and play with them as if they were toys. They seem to do this for their own amusement and for the pleasure of tourists who watch them. What's more, the dolphins who've learned how to do this appear to be teaching the others who haven't yet mastered the trick. Fascinating stuff.

Cheezburger of Teh Day

moar funny pictures

Cheezburger of Teh Day

From Ihasahotdog.com

What makes this video laugh-out-loud funny for me is the way the dog turns his head at exactly the right moment, as if to say, "Yo! Check me out! I'm drivin' the lawnmower!" Gets funnier every time I see it.

Not Just Another Cheezburger

I first saw this over at icanhascheezburger.com, the website that posts funny pictures and videos of cats, but this video is different. It will bring a real smile to your face, and maybe a tear to your eye. Here's some information provided by the video's original uploaders to describe what you'll see:

A cat named Oscar that had its back feet severed by a combine harvester, has been given two prosthetics in a pioneering operation.

The new feet are custom-made implants that "peg" the ankle to the foot.

They are bioengineered to mimic the way deer antler bone grows through the skin.

The operation - a world first - was carried out by Noel Fitzpatrick, a veterinary surgeon based in Surrey, UK. His work is explored in a BBC documentary called The Bionic Vet.

Just goes to show you can't keep a good kitteh down! You go, Oscar!

Ite filia!

That's Latin for "You go, girl!" in case you were wondering.

I first read about this via Dorian Speed over at Scrutinies, and she read about it via Deacon Greg Kandra at The Deacon's Bench blog. The more I thought about this, the cooler and more worthy of a mention it seemed.

Every year, Harvard University sponsors a speech writing competition for graduating seniors. Winners get to deliver their orations to the assembled faculty and student body during Spring commencement exercises. By tradition, one speech is given in Latin, and this year's Latin winner was Mary Ann Marks of Queens, N.Y., a double major in classics and English. This fall Miss Marks will enter the Dominican Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist, in Ann Arbor, Mich. Think of it! A Harvard grad and Latin scholar chooses to serve God as a nun! Score one for our team! Here's her oration as posted on YouTube:



Here's the Latin text and English translation. She seems to be truly enjoying herself as she delivers this speech. You can see that same sense of fun in the impish smile on her face in this picture from the Harvard Gazette:

May God bless you as you pursue this vocation, Miss Marks. The Dominicans will be richer for your erudition, enthusiasm, and skill put to work for the service of the Church. Deacon Greg asked his readers how one might say, "You go, girl!" in Latin, and someone suggested "Ite filia!" I heartily agree. Salve!

David Mitchell on the "Camelopard"

Apropos of absolutely nothing, here's a very funny animated monologue from British comedian David Mitchell on the obscure word "camelopard" and "animal marketing."

Wondering About Wonder Woman

OK, so apparently I'm the last comics fan in the blogosphere to find out about it, but The Powers That Be at DC Comics have approved a nearly complete revamping of Wonder Woman, including retroactively rewriting her origin story and established continuity (known in the biz as a "retcon") and a major redesign of her costume. The first issue featuring the "new" Wonder Woman went on sale Tuesday, June 29.

In this more or less total overhaul, the Greek gods abruptly alter time and allow Wonder Woman's birthplace, Paradise Island or Themyscira, to be destroyed when Diana is still a child. The infant Diana is smuggled into our everyday world and takes up a new life as a kind of urban vigilante and street fighter. Head writer J. Michael Straczynski, of Babylon 5 fame, is fairly blunt about the reason for the makeover: Sales of Wonder Woman comics are lagging far behind other DC titles, and The Powers That Be hope that WW's new look and story line will perk up interest in the book.

So far, however, the reaction among fans at comics websites I've checked seems to be largely if not overwhelmingly negative. Some like the change in story line, and some like the new costume, but most don't seem to like either one. Chris Sims, host of Chris's Invincible Super Blog, and his pals at ComicsAlliance take readers on a guided tour of Wonder Woman's costume changes through the decades, and most of the panelists give the new look a thumbs down. Here's the Wonder Woman most of us are used to seeing, as drawn by artist Karyn Lewis:

Here, once again, is the "new look" Wonder Woman:

True enough, this redesign addresses some of the complaints fans have had for years about WW's previous costume. The new get-up is certainly more practical for combat and daily wear. For the first time, Wonder Woman has pockets (not to mention pants) for all her superhero gear. However, as other fans have noted, the jacket that's supposed to make her look hip and edgy and boost her street cred just makes her look dated. I had a jacket like that in the early '90s. It was already too small when I bought it, and I quickly outgrew it. I predict Wonder Woman will likewise quickly outgrow this look.

I understand the complaints about WW's old costume. Not to be unpatriotic on Fourth of July weekend or anything, but what's an Amazon princess, a figure from Greek mythology, doing running around in a star-spangled red, white, and blue battle bikini anyway? Yes, her costume could stand to go in a new direction, but I think the look DC chose is precisely the wrong direction.

Therefore, gentle readers, I chose to take Wonder Woman in a completely different direction using the latest version of HeroMachine. I, too, have entered the Wonder Woman makeover derby. Yes, Wonder Woman should be tough, and yes, she should be sexy, but she should also be dignified and regal. She is a princess, after all; a princess from an ancient land of myth, magic, and mystery. I wanted to give her a look that was very clean and simple and neoclassical, something that suggested a toga but still left her ready to fight at a moment's notice. I wanted to portray her on her island home of Themyscira, peaceful by nature but perfectly prepared to kick bad guy trash if the occasion requires. I give you MY version of Wonder Woman:

You'll notice that apart from the red white and blue color scheme, I kept most of her other distinguishing features: jet black hair, silver bracelets, golden belt of Hippolyta, and lasso of truth. I gave her cross-laced sandals because they seemed to fit with the classical, mythological vibe I was going for. I dispensed with the tiara, mainly because HeroMachine 3 doesn't have a tiara at present, and because I always thought the tiara looked a bit silly. (As if the idea of people running around in ridiculous costumes fighting other people in ridiculous costumes isn't silly enough?) A simple circlet might look better. She's a princess but not a beauty pageant winner.

Whaddaya think? Do you (a) love it, (b) like it, (c) hate it, or (d) not really care? Do you think I have a future as a costume designer? Or have I at last snapped and revealed the truly appalling depths of my nerdiness and geekery? Feedback welcome.

How 'bout Them Gamecocks!

From the Gamecocks Online website:

June 29, 2010

Omaha, Neb. - Whit Merrifield singled home Scott Wingo in the bottom of the 11th inning, lifting South Carolina to a 2-1 win over UCLA, clinching the National Championship for the Gamecocks.

Wingo led off the final frame with a walk, moved to second on a passed ball, advanced to third on a bunt by Evan Marzilli and scored on Merrifield single to right.

The two starting pitchers, South Carolina's Michael Roth and UCLA's Rob Rasmussen locked up in a tight duel, but neither was around to figure in the decision. Roth allowed one run on six hits over 5.0 innings, while Rasmussen scattered six hits and four walks over 6.0 scoreless frames.

UCLA broke the scoreless tie with a run in the top of the fifth. Trevor Brown led off with an infield single, moved to second on a sacrifice bunt and scored on Niko Gallego's RBI single to left.

The Gamecocks finally tied the score in the bottom of eighth. Pinch-hitter Brady Thomas led off the frame with a solid single to center. Pinch-runner Robert Beary went to second on a ground out and scored when Bobby Haney's grounder ended up in right field after being misplayed by UCLA first baseman Dean Espy and eluding second baseman Cody Regis.

Matt Price (5-1) worked three scoreless innings of relief for the win.

Jackie Bradley Jr. was named the tournament's Most Outstanding Player. He was joined on the All-Tournament team by Christian Walker, Evan Marzilli and Brady Thomas.

The Gamecocks finish the season with a 54-16 record, while UCLA ends its campaign with a 51-17 mark.





Congratulations to the 2010 NCAA Baseball CHAMPIONS!

Cheezburger of Teh Day

moar funny pictures

Ah, Technology!

As readers of this blog may be aware, I've had a lot of technical problems with my computer setup lately. However, I think I've found the perfect addition to my system that will solve all my problems: The Rockwell Automation Retro-Encabulator. All it took was this promotional video and I was sold! Take a look:



I'm glad to see they solved the bi-directional endothermic convection problem caused by the duofrabulating Jason rod adapter assembly on the earlier models, but how in the world are you going to circumvent the Wangenfurter effect created by the inverse stimulation of the cross-circulating univalves? I mean, any idiot knows that you've got to decouple the Mollenswanger's invection-reducing biphasal rotator grid before you can even begin to address the tintinnabulation produced by the open-ended polyhexic velocitator! Wake up, people. On second thought, maybe this isn't such a good idea.

(Note: Yes, all of the foregoing is a joke.)

Doing My Bit for Vocations

Pournelle, Orwell, and Heinlein on Writing and More

As readers of this blog may be aware, from time to time I dabble in the craft of fiction writing. I owe my blogging colleague KT Cat a hat tip for pointing me to this short article by science fiction author Jerry Pournelle on what it takes to become a writer. Because the original article was written in 1996, Dr. Pournelle spends a good bit of it discussing software tools to help beginning writers that are now obsolete and unavailable, or that have been incorporated into other more recent products. His general advice on the craft of writing still holds, however. For me, these are the money paragraphs:

The secret of becoming a writer is that you have to write. You have to write a lot. You also have to finish what you write, even though no one wants it yet. If you don't learn to finish your work, no one will ever want to see it. The biggest mistake new writers make is carrying around copies of unfinished work to inflict on their friends.

I am sure it has been done with less, but you should be prepared to write and throw away a million words of finished material. By finished, I mean completed, done, ready to submit, and written as well as you know how at the time you wrote it. You may be ashamed of it later, but that's another story.

I usually begin a project in a great transport of enthusiasm but become bored or disenchanted with it once I see that it will take more work and more words than I anticipated to tell the story properly and bring it to a conclusion. As a result, I have a large number of unfinished fiction projects lounging around my hard drive in various states of completion. I'm great at conceiving ideas for stories and not so great at executing and following through on them. I must finish, finish, finish!

Dr. Pournelle's article includes this link to some admirably concise writing advice from George Orwell. Here are six questions every writer should ask, and six general rules to follow:

A scrupulous writer, in every sentence that he writes, will ask himself at least four questions, thus: 

1. What am I trying to say?
2. What words will express it?
3. What image or idiom will make it clearer?
4. Is this image fresh enough to have an effect?

And he will probably ask himself two more:

1. Could I put it more shortly?
2. Have I said anything that is avoidably ugly?

One can often be in doubt about the effect of a word or a phrase, and one needs rules that one can rely on when instinct fails. I think the following rules will cover most cases:

1. Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.
2. Never use a long word where a short one will do.
3. If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.
4. Never use the passive where you can use the active.
5. Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.
6. Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous.  

Finally, a reader commenting on Pournelle's original article includes this link to a speech by science fiction author Robert A. Heinlein at the U. S. Naval Academy in 1973. In his address, Heinlein, a Naval Academy graduate, offers his thoughts on writing in general, science fiction writing in particular, and, appropriate to his audience, reflections on the values of courage, honor, devotion to duty, and patriotism. His remarks were later published as a guest editorial in Analog magazine. I found Heinlein's remarks on the patriotic virtues particularly appropriate, given that we have just finished celebrating Memorial Day.

Like Pournelle and Orwell, Heinlein offers a few simple rules for effective and profitable writing:

First: You must write.

Second: You must finish what you write.

Third: You must refrain from rewriting except to editorial order.

Fourth: You must place it on the market.

Fifth: You must keep it on the market until sold.

In explaining his third point, Heinlein makes a crucial distinction between ordinary, common sense editing and a wholesale, top-to-bottom rewriting that fundamentally changes the story:

The efficient way to write, as with any other work, is to do it right the first time!

I don't mean that a manuscript should not be corrected and cut. Few writers are perfect in typing, spelling, punctuation, and grammar. Most of us have to go back and correct such things, and — above all — strike out surplusage and fancy talk. The manuscript then needs to be retyped—for neatness; retyping is not rewriting. Rewriting means a new approach, a basic change in form.

Don't do it!

Two other interesting points from Heinlein's remarks jumped out at me. First was his estimate that at any given time, approximately half the literate adult population thinks about writing something for publication. A much smaller percentage, however, actually takes the time and trouble to write. A still smaller fraction dares to actually submit work for publication, and an even tinier minority tries to make a living by writing. In other words, writing is something that many of us dream of doing, but few of us have the courage and gumption to actively pursue.

Second (and this was interesting to me as a person with a disability) was Heinlein's frank admission that he became a writer only because a chronic illness (pulmonary tuberculosis) ended his naval career in 1934, the depths of the Great Depression, when few jobs were available. He pointed out that he was only one of a long string of authors who had become writers only because illness or disability prevented them from pursuing more strenuous and physically demanding occupations. There has always been room for those with disabilities in the world of writing.

Up With Up!

I didn't intend for this site to become a movie review blog, honest. However, just a few days after seeing James Cameron's visually dazzling but emotionally empty opus, Avatar, I saw another film that was everything Avatar wasn't: Disney/Pixar's Up. I didn't get a chance to see Up during its theatrical run, but I heard good things about it, so I put it on my Netflix queue. When I saw the film was available in streaming format, I jumped at the chance to see it. I wasn't disappointed.

Like Avatar, Up uses state of the art visual effects and digital animation to take movie audiences to a world they've never seen before. Unlike Avatar, however, Up takes viewers along for the ride with characters they can actually care about on a journey that's fun and unpredictable, and after which, both characters and audience have actually learned something about themselves. For all their mind-blowing technical skill with animation, the Pixar gang appears to have learned a lesson that James Cameron seems to have missed: the real essentials of any movie are character and plot, just like they've always been. Without these, all the razzmatazz in the world won't make a good film. The Pixar crew nearly always manages to create good stories, and they never tell the same story twice. The story of Up is no exception.

As kids in the 1930s, shy hesitant Carl (Jeremy Leary) and brash, fearless Ellie (Elie Docter) are captivated by the newsreel exploits of adventurer Charles Muntz (Christopher Plummer) who roams the globe in his custom-built dirigible making astonishing discoveries and bringing back rare artifacts. When Muntz is accused of fabricating the skeleton of a rare bird from Paradise Falls, a beautiful and isolated region of South America, he's drummed out of the explorers' society in disgrace. He sets off in his dirigible, vowing never to return unless he can bring back a live specimen of the bird.

In the meantime, Carl and Ellie grow up and marry, dreaming of their own shared life of adventure. Unfortunately, these dreams are never quite realized as they face life's more mundane challenges, but their years together are long and mostly happy until Ellie's passing leaves the elderly Carl (now voiced by Edward Asner) lonely and sad. A city of high rises and shopping malls grows up around his little house, and life seems to be passing him by. Rather than go to a retirement community involuntarily, however, Carl unleashes one last surprise. He's equipped his house with a steering mechanism and thousands of balloons, making the house in effect a gondola for a hot air balloon rig. He too sets off for Paradise Falls, where he and Ellie promised each other they would live one day.

Little does Carl know, however, that he has an accidental stowaway on his voyage: Russell (Jordan Nagai), a hapless but goodhearted eight-year-old, a member of a Cub Scout-like organization called the Wilderness Explorers, in search of his Assisting the Elderly badge. In spite of the curmudgeonly Carl's best efforts to get rid of him earlier, Russell happened to be on the porch when the house took off and has unwittingly set out on the adventure of a lifetime. For all his reliance on the Wilderness Explorer's handbook and GPS (which he accidentally tosses out a window), Russell has precious little real knowledge of the outdoors and must rely on Carl for help.

When the unlikely pair reaches their destination they find not only a jungle paradise but also, strangely enough, a lovably goofy dog named Dug with a collar that enables him to talk and a giant multicolored bird that Russell immediately (but erroneously) dubs Kevin. Turns out Kevin is a she, not a he, with a brood of nestlings to protect, and that she and her nestlings are specimens of the very bird Muntz had sworn to find at any cost. Dug is one of a pack of talking dogs belonging to Muntz, who has sat for decades in his dirigible, waiting, brooding, and searching feverishly for a way into Kevin's inaccessible hiding place. Over Carl's protestations that it isn't his concern, Carl and Russell become involved in a mad scramble to defeat Muntz, keep Kevin and her brood out of his clutches, and return to civilization.

In the process, Carl and Russell bond, grow, and change. Russell learns that there's more to a life of adventure than reading about it in a handbook and earning merit badges. Carl, for his part learns that however much he treasures his memories of the past, he can't live in it forever. At one point he decides he's through with adventuring and will sit quietly in the house with his memories and mementos. As he's leafing through the photo album Ellie called her "adventure book," he comes upon the last photo of the couple together and a note from Ellie: "Thanks for all the adventures," it reads, "now go have a new one." Shortly thereafter, in order to get the house airborne again, Carl has to jettison the furniture, mementos, and odds and ends he's cluttered the house with for years. Ultimately, he has to part with the house itself. He may love the past but in order to survive in the present, he can't allow it to weigh him down.

While letting go of his past, however, Carl also learns that he doesn't have to face an empty future. In Carl, Russell finds the father and grandfather figure he wants so desperately, and in Russell Carl finds the son and grandson he was never able to have with Ellie.

One of the many things that impressed me about this movie was its understated approach to storytelling. For all the outstanding visual work in this movie, and in contrast to Cameron's ham-handed style in Avatar, the approach to narrative in Up is relatively and refreshingly subtle. Much is revealed in a brief, well-staged scene or a few well chosen lines of dialogue. The silent montage, accompanied only by background music, showing Carl and Ellie's life together, perfectly encapsulates the mixture of joy and sorrow that any married couple might experience. The brief but sensitively handled scenes revealing that Carl and Ellie cannot have children of their own and revealing Ellie's final illness will leave a genuine lump in the viewer's throat.

Later in the movie, Russell reveals that he doesn't have the relationship with his father he once did. "I call him, but Phyllis says I shouldn't bug him so much," Russell says.

"You call your mother by her first name?" Carl asks incredulously.

"Phyllis isn't my Mom," Russell says, embarrassed.

"Oh," Carl says, equally embarrassed.

What is obvious has been left unsaid. Russell's parents are divorced, his dad has remarried, and now he can't make time for his own son. Up is a movie that doesn't pander to viewers, respecting our minds while it tugs at our heartstrings. If there were more movies around like it,I might go to the movies more often; I might be up for more movies.