Thursday, April 23, 2009

Speaking of Shakespeare (Literally)


Zounds! From that worthy curate, Father Z., we have received tidings that today is Talk Like Shakespeare Day. Come thou, sirrah! Be not a prating coxcomb! Hie thee hence, and visit the site! Stay thee not, thou whoreson zed, thou unnecessary letter! The event is sponsored by men and women, all merely players, known as the Chicago Shakespeare Theater, no doubt to praise the work of the Immortal Bard, not to bury him.

Yea, verily what manner of fortune is this? No more than two days hence, we have posted this treatment most comical of Richard III, that there is a day in honor of the Sweet Swan of Avon? And I almost missed it? O Great Jove! It makes me mad to think on't!

[Exeunt omnes]

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

You've never seen Shakespeare Like This (Thank Goodness!)

Under Mark Shea's pernicious influence, I've been fooling around with Xtranormal.com, the site that allows you to make movies (after a fashion) by simply typing in a script. Users type in a script and choose a setting, camera angles, background music, preset digitally created characters, and synthesized voices to act out the scene. Here, for example, is my favorite Shakespearian soliloquy from Richard III, Act V, Scene iii. The results are (ahem) slightly unconventional:



I expect to be haunted by Shakespeare's ghost for the rest of my life now.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

The Next Generation of Heroes . . .

is coming.

Jeff Hebert, the creator of HeroMachine v. 2.5, one of the coolest websites and software packages ever, has been hard at work on the next major upgrade to HeroMachine since early in January. HeroMachine v. 3.0 will have a huge number of new features, including a larger color palette, greatly expanded layering capabilities, new accessories for characters, and the ability to mark characters and equipment with patterns, including camouflage, tartan, and metallic. But that's not all. With version 3.0, aspiring artists and creators of superheroes will have the opportunity to select individual body parts for the characters, and have the ability to move, scale, and rotate those body parts and accessories, in effect, customizing the look of each character.

Jeff has set up an "alpha" test version of HM 3 (even earlier in the development process than a beta version) and is actively seeking comments, suggestions for improvement, feedback, and bug reports from users. He's been gradually adding and enabling features and components and hopes to have the site completed by some time this summer. Here's a sample character that I created on the new site, Red Hawk:



This looks like it will be really cool when it gets all done. If you like comic books or superheroes or have dreamed of creating your own characters, head on over. In the immortal words of Mark Shea, "Check thou it out."

Another Look at Susan Boyle

Sorry for the repetition, but I just can't get enough of this. What I love about this woman, aside from her obvious vocal talent, is her saucy, sassy attitude and her determination to be absolutely herself, no matter what. The little victory dance she does at the end is just priceless. She knows she doesn't have the fashion model good looks, but she knows she has the musical ability and the drive to see how far it can take her. Would that we all had such courage.


Videos tu.tv


Hat tip to: Patrick Archbold of Creative Minority Report for the clip.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Wow! Again!



From the same people who brought you Paul Potts, here comes Susan Boyle, a frumpy-looking, 47 year-old Scottish woman with a great sense of humor, great talent, and great self-confidence. She's living proof of that old saying, "You can't judge a book by its cover."

Hat tip to Father Dwight Longenecker of Standing on My Head.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Exsultet!

Have a happy and blessed Easter everyone! I've just returned from the Easter vigil at my parish, where our cantor chants the magnificent Easter Proclamation (called the Exsultet, after its first Latin word meaning "Rejoice!") Here's a link to a page with the Latin text and an English translation. And here's some video of the Exsultet chanted in Latin by the monks of Birmingham Oratory in Birmingham, England:



For those of you who are Latin-impaired (a group that includes me, but I'm determined to work on that), here's another video of the Exsultet with the text in English:



He is Risen! He is Risen Indeed!

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

An Open Letter to the President



April 7, 2009

President Barack H. Obama
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20500

Dear Mr. President:

As a Catholic, as an American, a person with a disability, and as a human being, I must register my profound and unflinching opposition to the egregiously misnamed “Freedom of Choice Act” (FOCA) which has been proposed in Congress and which would in effect make the principle of abortion on demand at any time for any reason the law of the land in the United States. You are on record assuring an audience of Planned Parenthood members and supporters that FOCA would be one of the first pieces of legislation you would sign and that you “will not yield” in your support of this legislation. As I understand it, the legislation as it stands would:
  • eliminate any restrictions on abortion including restrictions on late-term abortions, waiting periods before abortions, and parental notification and consent provisions when minor children request abortions—even when polls have consistently shown that the majority of voters support these restrictions as reasonable;
  • prevent states or municipalities from passing any laws or ordinances prohibiting or restricting access to abortion within their borders, despite the will of their citizens clearly and legally expressed through such means as votes by state legislatures, ballot initiatives, or referendums;
  • and prohibit doctors and hospitals that object to abortion on moral or religious grounds from refusing to perform abortions without risking the loss of government funds or medical licenses.
Mr. President, in your inaugural address, you quoted the father of our country, George Washington, as he attempted to rally the Continental Army during the darkest days of the American Revolution. May I remind you, sir, that at the very beginning of that titanic struggle, the founders of our nation declared:

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.
Mr. President, I submit it is no accident that the founders enumerated the first unalienable right as the right to life. The right to life is the fundamental human right. Without that, all other human rights are meaningless. The founders were also wise enough to see that the right to life is not granted by the power of the state, nor the authority of the government, but by the will of Almighty God. If a right granted by God, it ought not be taken away by human beings without the most profound consideration and reflection and except in the very gravest of circumstances. For this reason, the Catholic Church has been most forthright in its opposition to both capital punishment and to unjust or unnecessary war when peaceful means exist to resolve disputes between nations. Surely, Mr. President, you would agree with Catholic teaching in these latter cases. I earnestly entreat you to consider making your position more amenable to Catholic teaching on the issue of abortion.

Mr. President, the provisions now proposed, whether in FOCA as a whole or enacted piecemeal through other legislation, will trample on the fundamental right to life for millions of unborn Americans, the most innocent, vulnerable, and defenseless among us, children in the womb. Some may argue that a fetus in the womb is not, in any biological, legal, or moral sense a person with rights that must be respected under law. But surely you sir, as an African-American, know that similar arguments were once used to deny African-Americans their fundamental rights of life and liberty? Let us not go back to such dark days and such specious reasoning. If a fetus in the womb is denied its fundamental rights to life and liberty, it will never even have the opportunity to develop into a being that would be universally recognized as a human person. Thus, a unique and irreplaceable human life would be lost. Mr. President, if we have the power to prevent such a tragedy, let us do so. I implore you to reconsider your support for this legislation.

Not only will this legislation trample on the rights to life and liberty of the unborn themselves; it will trample on the rights of liberty of conscience, both for institutions such as hospitals supported by religious organizations and for individual doctors, nurses, and other health care providers who refuse to provide, participate in, or enable abortions for moral or religious reasons. Just as the right to life is the first unalienable and divinely granted human right, the right to practice one's religion in accord with the dictates of one's conscience is among the very first liberties guaranteed Americans by the First Amendment to the U. S. Constitution.

Finally, not only would this legislation run roughshod over fundamental human rights of life and liberty, but it would also make a mockery of American principles of federalism and representative government. If the will of the people in a specific locality regarding something so fundamental as the protection of human life can always and everywhere be overridden by a federal mandate, than we as a nation have gone a very long way towards surrendering our essential liberties.

In short, Mr. President, I believe this legislation and its provisions, whether enacted in whole or in part, constitute nothing less than a direct and deliberate assault on fundamental human rights to life, liberty of conscience, and representative government, and I will do everything in my power to oppose them. In my view, FOCA would be profoundly destructive of the ends of good government enumerated by the founders, and I fully intend to utilize my rights as an American to lawfully alter or abolish the government that pursues such destructive and evil policies. Destroying the lives of the innocent can never be justified as health care, and ignoring the conscience and will of the people can never be defended as good public policy.


Sincerely,

Neil R. Leslie

Monday, April 06, 2009

Happy National Tartan Day!


for, as long as but a hundred of us remain alive, never will we on any conditions be brought under English rule. It is in truth not for glory, nor riches, nor honours that we are fighting, but for freedom -- for that alone, which no honest man gives up but with life itself.
The Arbroath Declaration.

Happy National Tartan Day! On this day in the year 1320, a delegation of Scottish nobles signed a letter composed by the abbot of Arbroath Abbey and sent to to Pope John XXII, declaring that Scotland would never submit to English rule and appealing to the pope for a judgment against the English. One of the signatories, Andrew Leslie, may have been a distant ancestor of mine. This document is considered Scotland's national declaration of independence and may have been a model for the American Declaration of Independence some 400 years later. April 6 has since become known as National Tartan Day an opportunity for Americans of Scottish descent, such as your humble blog host, to show off their Scottish pride. Hat tip to the incomparable Fiona Ritchie, host of The Thistle & Shamrock, for bringing this to my attention.

Suas Alba! (Loosely translated: Up with Scotland, Hurray for Scotland, Scotland Rocks, etc.)

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Fire Flying

Ni hao! I may be the last gorram feller in the gorram 'verse to find out about Firefly, but I think it may be the best goram vid on the whole gorram cortex! Take a gander if you've a notion! It's shiny!

Translation: Hello! I may be the last person in the (ahem) gosh darn universe to find out about the television show Firefly, but I think it may be the best darn TV show available on the whole darn internet! Go watch it if you would like! It's excellent!

A high-speed internet connection is a marvelous thing; it allows me to waste time in ways previously unimaginable, visiting sites such as YouTube.com, CBS.com, and Hulu.com and watching classic (and not-so-classic) TV from years gone by.

My latest discovery is the late, lamented science fiction/Western hybrid Firefly which ran for only 11 of its 14 scheduled episodes on the Fox network in 2002 before it vanished from the network's lineup. There was such an outcry from fans that the show's producers decided to release the entire series as a DVD boxed set, which led in turn to a cast reunion and a big-screen movie, titled Serenity, in 2005. The movie was designed both to fill in crucial gaps in the characters' backstories and tie up loose ends created by the series's abrupt cancellation. The Firefly boxed set and Serenity movie are available for sale at Amazon.com and the Serenity movie is also available for rental and streaming internet playback to Netflix.com subscribers. I'd heard good things about the show for years but missed it during its original all too brief network run. When I saw it was available on Hulu.com, I started watching the pilot and was immediately hooked.

Firefly comes from the fertile, somewhat twisted imagination of Joss Whedon, creator of Buffy, the Vampire Slayer and its spin-off series Angel. I've never been a big fan of the horror genre in general or vampire stories in particular, so I was never a big Buffy watcher. The few times I did happen to catch the show while channel surfing however, I had to admire its truly original premise, smartly constructed plots, well-drawn characters, and some of the wittiest dialogue on television.

Those same characteristics are much in evidence with Firefly. As a brief prologue to the later episodes explains, in the 26th century when Earth's resources are exhausted, humanity begins moving out into space and converting other planets into replicas of Earth. The most powerful planets form a technologically advanced but corrupt and authoritarian Alliance and attempt to force all the planets to join. The "independents" or "browncoats" refuse, and a bloody galactic civil war follows.

After the browncoats are decisively defeated at the battle of Serenity Valley, the remaining independents move to the far fringes of settled space, where representatives of the Alliance are scarce and high technology is hard to come by. Hence, Firefly's vision of the 26th century looks and sounds a lot like the 19th--with a few twists. Characters speak a bizarre blend of Mandarin Chinese, slang invented for the series, and a rustic dialect of English that sounds as if it came from every Western movie ever made. In battle, characters are just as likely to reach for six-guns as they are for ray guns, and desperadoes on horseback coexist with stormtroopers in battle armor. The show's musical score is just as likely to feature fiddle, banjo, and guitar as it is the orchestral music or electronica that you might find in more conventional science fiction. The final image of the opening credits, a starship hovering over a corral, perfectly summarizes the show's blend of space opera and horse opera motifs:



Sergeant Malcolm "Mal" Reynolds is a survivor of the battle of Serenity Valley and an embittered browncoat. In an effort to start over again after the war, he's promoted himself to captain, bought a rusting, obsolete "Firefly" class freighter, dubbed her Serenity, and assembled a ragtag crew: former war buddy Zoe, as tough as any man, as his first officer; Wash, Zoe's wisecracking husband, as pilot and navigator; the eternally pert and perky Kaylee as ship's mechanic, who, despite her girlish demeanor, is a whiz with machinery; Inara, a highly trained and officially licensed "companion," or courtesan; and Jayne, the hired muscle, whose mercenary temperament leads him to try to betray his captain more than once.

In the show's 90-minute pilot episode, the starship Serenity picks up three more passengers: Book, a "Shepherd," or minister for an unspecified, perhaps pan-Christian denomination; Dr. Simon Tam, a brilliant young surgeon; and his sister River, a child prodigy whose mind has been cruelly damaged by horrific experiments at the hands of Alliance scientists. Simon has sacrificed his promising career to rescue River from the "Academy" where she was being tortured, and now the two of them are wanted fugitives. Somewhere in the deeply troubled recesses of her mind, River holds secrets that could bring down the Alliance.

Over the course of the series, characters grow, change, and reveal more sides of themselves. Mal, for example, has an almost Victorian moral code, and I mean that in the best possible sense. He can't stand to see a woman abused or mistreated; so much so that he'll risk his life and his crew to defend a bordello full of prostitutes who are being terrorized by a local bigwig. He hates the fact that Inara, whatever she may call herself, is a prostitute, and shows signs of being in love with her, feelings she may secretly reciprocate. When he finds he has stolen a load of desperately needed medical supplies, he'll risk his life to return the supplies to their intended recipients and willingly incur the wrath of the vicious gangster who hired him to steal the supplies in the first place.

Shepherd Book, for his part, seems to have more knowledge of military and security matters than a clergyman otherwise might, suggesting that he too has a troubled past. It's clear that Mal has lost his religious faith as a result of the events at Serenity Valley, and had the show continued, I would have liked to have seen the relationship between the two men develop further and the writers grapple more with issues of faith and belief.

In short, Firefly has a little bit of everything: plenty of action, quirky, unconventional characters, Emmy-winning visual effects, and--I almost forgot--bloodthirsty space-going zombies called Reavers--truly something for everyone :) If you like science fiction or Westerns or wonder what a blend of the two genres might look like, head on over to Hulu.com today and start watching. The browncoats need you.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Who Watches the Watchmen? Not I

Watchmen / Alan Moore, writer; Dave Gibbons, illustrator /letterer; John Higgins, colorist. New York: DC Comics, © 1986-1987.

I finally found something to rouse me out of my torpor and motivate me to start blogging again. I recently finished reading Alan Moore's graphic novel Watchmen, which, judging from the adulation heaped on it and the hype and ballyhoo surrounding the release of the movie version, is the biggest thing to hit comics since colored ink. Here's a sample of the blurbs on the back cover:

"A work of ruthless psychological realism, it's a landmark in the graphic novel medium," says Time Magazine. They rate it as one of the 100 best novels (not just graphic novels, but novels, period) since 1923. Why 1923, I don't know.

"Watchmen is peerless," says Rolling Stone.

"Remarkable . . . The would-be heroes of Watchmen have staggeringly complex psychological profiles, says the New York Times Book Review.

"A brilliant piece of fiction," says The Village Voice.

"Groundbreaking," says USA Today.

"A masterwork representing the apex of artistry," says Entertainment Weekly.

"The greatest piece of popular fiction ever produced," says Damon Lindelof, the co-creator of Lost.

Most of the reader reviews on Amazon.com are similarly glowing, but a significant number are not. I beg to differ with the majority view and firmly register with the minority.

My opinion? Somewhere between "Meh," and "Yuck," leaning heavily toward the latter. I found Watchmen a grim, joyless, dispiriting work with an atheistic, nihilistic, and pessimistic worldview that deliberately and consistently inverts, subverts, and perverts everything that makes reading superhero comics fun and enjoyable in the first place. The book's title is based on a quotation from the Roman poet Juvenal: Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? (Who watches the watchmen?) that was used as the epigraph for the Tower Commission's report on the Iran-Contra affair in 1987. Like the Tower Commission, questions about the abuse of power and authority and the nature of good and evil are clearly on Moore's mind here. He uses the conventions of the superhero story to try to make points about larger issues, but I disagree about as profoundly as I possibly can with his point of view and his conclusions.

Nevertheless, I wanted to read the book because about a year ago, as a relative newcomer to the world of comics, I created some superhero characters myself and started trying to create a fictional universe for them to live in. I wanted to see if the kinds of stories I had in mind for these characters would sell, so I set out to do a little unsystematic market research. I wanted to read titles that seemed representative of the market for superhero stories as a whole, and I wanted to read books that were considered essential and highly influential in the comics industry. Watchmen was a name that kept coming up on both counts.

Before reading the book, I knew Watchmen had a reputation for being much grimmer and grittier than the average mainstream superhero comic, and was something of a landmark for having largely introduced this element of darkness and grit into comics as a whole. I knew the journey into the world of Watchmen might not always be fun, but I thought it would at least be interesting and instructive. It was not. I started reading the book before Christmas but gave up about halfway through because I found it so relentlessly bleak and depressing. When I heard about the release of the movie version I decided to dig out the book again and push through to the end before making a final decision about it. I thought perhaps I had misjudged or misunderstood the work. I had not. My initial assessment still stands. I did not enjoy this book and cannot recommend it. I don't get the hype. What makes it so wonderful?

The story begins in 1985 as someone is murdering or otherwise eliminating the members of a defunct and discredited team of masked amateur crime fighters, the Minute Men. The latest victim is Eddie Blake, aka The Comedian, a thug and a rapist every bit as brutal as the criminals he fought against. Another former member of the group, the paranoid and psychotic Walter Kovacs, aka Rorschach, who plainly enjoys intimidating and torturing real or perceived enemies, is conducting his own investigation into The Comedian's death. With the reluctant help of two other former vigilantes, Dan Dreiberg, aka Nite Owl, and Laurie Juspeczyk, aka Silk Spectre, Rorschach follows the conspiracy to its source: Ozymandias, aka Adrian Veidt, another former masked adventurer who has given up crime fighting, become a multimillionaire, and established a reputation as "the smartest man in the world."

Veidt has concluded that simply fighting crime isn't enough. He concocts an insane plan to remake the world in his own image by fabricating the appearance of an alien invasion, destroying half the population of New York City in the process, and forcing humanity to put aside its internal conflicts and unite in the face of the supposed alien threat. Ironically, Veidt's plan works to perfection. Not even the godlike abilities of Dr. Manhattan, the only member of the team with "superpowers" in the traditional comic book sense, can prevent the catastrophe; in fact, Dr. Manhattan refuses to intervene, for his own reasons.

The messages behind the book seem abundantly, almost unmistakably clear to me. Chapter VI, Rorschach's horrific origin story, ends with this declaration by his psychiatrist:

Why do we argue? Life's so fragile, a successful virus clinging to a speck of mud suspended in endless nothing . . . . The horror is this: in the end, it is simply a picture of empty meaningless blackness. We are alone. There is nothing else.


None of the subsequent events of the book do anything to challenge the psychiatrist's pronouncement. The power of God will not save the world because there is no God. If Dr. Manhattan is meant to symbolize God in any way, he will not intervene to save humanity; in fact, he destroys Rorschach for refusing to go along with Veidt's plans and decides to leave Earth forever to visit other "less complicated" galaxies. When Veidt points out that Dr. Manhattan has regained an interest in human life, the doctor replies, "Yes I have. I think perhaps I'll create some," and vanishes.

Moore also seems to imply that conventional heroism will not save humanity because in the end there is no moral difference between the so-called heroes and so-called villains. The Comedian and Rorschach are just as brutal and sadistic as their alleged enemies. The US government recruits The Comedian for all manner of despicable "black ops" missions that the government can later deny. The only "supervillain" we actually see, the former Moloch the Magician, is no longer a master criminal; when Rorschach terrorizes him in order to gain information, Moloch is just a sick old man dying of cancer who wants only to be left alone. Nite Owl, the character most like a conventional superhero, with a genuine desire to do good, is literally and figuratively impotent, both in the sense of being unable to affect the story's outcome and in the sense of being unable to consummate his desire for Silk Spectre--unless he is wearing his Nite Owl costume.

In his essay, A Defence of Penny Dreadfuls, written more than a hundred years ago, G. K. Chesterton argued that popular fiction, ranging from fairy tales to the epic adventures of King Arthur and Robin Hood, and even the "penny dreadfuls," or mass-produced sensational fiction of his time, served two purposes. It fulfilled a basic human longing for stories of heroism and adventure and it taught a basic moral code. Chesterton responded to the so-called intellectual sophisticates of his time who looked down their noses at "penny dreadfuls" even as they looked down their noses at the moral codes contained therein:

And with a hypocrisy so ludicrous as to be almost unparalleled in history, we rate the gutter-boys for their immorality at the very time that we are discussing (with equivocal German professors) whether morality is valid at all. At the very instant that we curse the Penny Dreadful for encouraging thefts upon property, we canvass the proposition that all property is theft. At the very instant we accuse it (quite unjustly) of lubricity and indecency, we are cheerfully reading philosophies which glory in lubricity and indecency. At the very instant that we charge it with encouraging the young to destroy life, we are placidly discussing whether life is worth preserving.


Chesterton argued that in many respects he preferred the simple morality of the "penny dreadful" and the people of the lower classes who read them to the fashionable despair of the intellectual elites:

So long as the coarse and thin texture of mere current popular romance is not touched by a paltry culture it will never he vitally immoral. It is always on the side of life. The poor--the slaves who really stoop under the burden of life-- have often been mad, scatter-brained, and cruel, but never hopeless. That is a class privilege, like cigars. Their drivelling literature will always be a "blood and thunder" literature, as simple as the thunder of heaven and the blood of men.


I would suggest that the pulp novel, the old time radio show, and the Golden Age comic book of the 1930s and '40s were the successors to the "penny dreadfuls" of Chesterton's day. No one could possibly confuse the high-mindedness of Superman or the Shadow's stern warning: "The weed of crime bears bitter fruit! Crime does not pay!" with the nihilism and brutality of Rorschach and The Comedian. When I was a boy, I wanted to be Superman. Some days I still wish I could be. Who would want to be Rorschach?

I would also suggest that in Watchmen, however, we have what Chesterton might have regarded as the worst of both worlds: a work of popular fiction infected with the nihilism and cruelty of the intellectual elites. It's the product of a "paltry culture" indeed, if reviewers think that such a thing qualifies as high art. Watchmen is not "on the side of life;" it is, at its heart, on the side of death. It reeks of hopelessness and despair. It holds that the thunder of heaven is merely thunder and never the voice of heaven; and that men and women never spill their blood for any good purpose, even to save their country, their family, or each other.

Who watches the watchmen? Not I.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Some Curry With Your Kryptonite?

Here's an unintentionally (?) hilarious little clip from an extremely low-budget Superman movie knockoff produced by India's film industry (sometimes referred to as Bollywood). Supes looks to have put on a few pounds, and I'll swear the guy's wearing a false nose. Lucky for us, the person who originally posted this video has helpfully provided English subtitles which add to the hilarity. Hat tip: Saint Superman.

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Father Barron on The Dark Knight

Since I'm trying to create some superhero characters of my own, I found this reflection by Father Robert Barron on the superhero concept and its philosophical and theological problems to be quite interesting. He focuses his attention on the recent Batman movie The Dark Knight, but he mentions other popular superheroes in passing and his observations could be applied to just about any superhero character. Father Barron has a real gift for packing a great deal of thought-provoking material into the ten minutes or less allowed by YouTube.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Does This Look Freakin' Awesome



Or What?

Hat Tip: Mark Shea. As I said in my comment over on Mark's blog:

All I've got to say is anybody, and I do mean anybody, is a better producer/director team than Rick Berman and Brannon Braga who sold out and ran out of ideas somewhere between the middle of Voyager and the beginning of Enterprise. I found those shows hard to take. This, on the other hand, looks freakin' awesome. As a long time Trekkie, however, I'll withhold my final judgment until I see the finished product. I've had my heart broken before.

Mangled Mentorship, But Merry Christmas Anyway.

I find myself with some free time I didn't entirely want. When last I reported I was getting ready to start teaching two sections of a business communications class for the University of Phoenix Online under the supervision of a faculty mentor. I think two sections turned out to be about one section more than I could handle effectively. Unfortunately, the whole experience went badly and ended abruptly. I fell behind early in the class, in part because of having a colonoscopy during the first week, and I was never really able to catch up. Things went from bad to worse once my old enemies, depression, despair, and panic kicked in. I fell so far behind in grading assignments and providing feedback to students that my mentor and the mentorship team decided to cancel the mentorship in the middle of the course and turn my classes over to someone else.

To say I'm disappointed is an understatement. I seem to have developed a remarkable talent for self-sabotage and shooting myself in the foot. I have no idea what I'm going to do now to support myself. Plans I made that were contingent on successfully completing the mentorship and getting a part-time gig with U of P will have to be put on hold if not completely scrapped.

As if that weren't bad enough, it looks as though I won't be able to spend Christmas with my family as I usually do. My brother Bill, who usually provides the transportation, is working through Christmas this year. He is, however, planning to visit me a few days after Christmas, and we'll go up to see the rest of the family then.

In spite of all of this, I am doing my best to maintain my good humor and Christmas spirit. I have a few small Christmas decorations up, and I've dug out all my Christmas music. Sometimes I worry about the future, but at other times I have a certain inexplicable feeling of peace (perhaps it's just naive optimism) and an assurance that somehow things will be OK. I've been watching more TV than usual, and I notice that most Christmas specials these days are long on twinkly lights, pretty music, Santa Claus, and banal, meaningless phrases such as "the magic of the holiday season," and short on references to the real reason for all the gaiety: the birth of Jesus Christ. All the pretty lights, artificial snowflakes, and presents in the world won't make us happy if we don't realize that God has already given us the greatest gift we could ever hope to receive: the gift of Himself.

Christians believe that two thousand years ago, more or less, God Himself came into the world as a human being in the person of Jesus. I take great comfort in the thought that when he came, Christ didn't come to the big people, the important people, the successful people--just the opposite. He came to the little people, the people who were insignificant in the way the world measures significance and success. His mother was a humble little teenage Jewish girl who was astonished that she should be chosen for such an honor; his foster father was a carpenter and a stonemason who was concerned about the hint of scandal and gossip surrounding Mary but took her in anyway. They lived in a backwater town in a backwater province of the Roman empire. According to Luke's gospel, the first people to receive news of this extraordinary birth were shepherds, people at the very bottom of the social and economic ladder, people who were forced to spend the night outside when everyone else was safe and warm indoors.

In his earthly life, Jesus experienced just about all the painful things a human being can experience: hunger, thirst, anger, rejection, loneliness, betrayal, paralyzing fear, an agonizing and public death, and the apparent failure of everything he had worked for. Yet by that death and his incredible, miraculous resurrection from it, Christians believe, Jesus changed the nature of life and death and the relationship between God and humankind. God desires a relationship with each and every human being--so much so that he was willing to become a human being. Death is not the end of the story. The power of God can overcome anything, even death itself. Jesus didn't come into the world to suffer and die and rise again in order reward us for being perfect little ladies and gentlemen and for always doing everything right. He came to save us because we needed saving. He came to save sinners and screw-ups like me. These are the messages of the two greatest feasts of the Christian year, Christmas and Easter.

As I've mentioned before on this blog, I had a profound crisis of faith several years ago when my father died, I developed serious health problems of my own, and a precious personal relationship ended abruptly, all at once. I had to go all the way back to first principles and ask myself why I was a Christian. The answer I kept coming back to was that if there was a God I could believe in, he couldn't be an airy-fairy, intangible intelligent something-or-other, away off in the ether, so far beyond my understanding that I couldn't begin to relate to him or even be certain he was there. That seemed only a short step from atheism, which I've always found repellent. But a God who lived as I live, suffered as I suffer, died as I will die, and who rose again to show me there is something beyond death--that was a God I could believe in; a God who came to Earth to show me something of what the God in Heaven looks like--that was a God I could love. The Incarnate, Crucified, and Risen Lord Jesus Christ gives me the joy and peace of mind I need to say "Merry Christmas!" and mean it whether or not I have a job, whether or not there are any presents under my tree, and whether or not I am with my family.

Merry Christmas!

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Celtic League of Superheroes Teaser Trailer #3

This is the third in a series of superhero videos featuring my original characters The Celtic League of Superheroes. This video was inspired by Karl Jenkins's dramatic arrangement of the traditional Catholic funeral hymn "Dies Irae," (Day of Wrath). It sounded like the kind of thing you might hear in a Batman movie. Enjoy!


Saturday, November 01, 2008

The New Liberty Legion Trailer

In this, my latest video, my World War II superheroes, The Liberty Legion, get a makeover and an update as I move to a different superhero generator and they move to the present. Enjoy!

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Liberty Legion Trailer #2

Here's a slightly revised and edited version of the teaser trailer for my World War II era superheroes, The Liberty Legion.



Enjoy!

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Yet Another Video!

It's time for another superhero video, this one featuring my All-American team of costumed crime fighters, the Liberty Legion. I made this one using Microsoft Windows Movie Maker in order to take advantage of some of Movie Maker's cooler features, including a black and white filter and an option to artificially "age" your video for that "long lost in the film vault" look. Eventually, I want to do another video showcasing the modern Liberty Legion, the heirs and descendants of the original World War II heroes. For now, just watch this and learn the real reason the Allies won World War II. :)

Monday, October 27, 2008

The Video Mogul Strikes Again!

Behold the second video featuring the Celtic League of Superheroes!



Enjoy!

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Niall Mor, Video Mogul

Ladies and Gentlemen:

Behold the first video starring that Confraternity of Costumed Celtic Crime Fighters (How's that for alliteration?) The Celtic League of Superheroes!



Enjoy!

Monday, October 20, 2008

Hi! Remember Me?

Um, hi. Remember me? The guy who runs the blog? Glasses, kinda geeky looking, annoying opinions, won't go away? Yeah, that's the one.

Once again, I must apologize for a lack of postings. My attention has just been diverted in other directions these days. Things are actually going pretty well for me at the moment. Starting November 3rd I'll be teaching two sections of a business communications class under the supervision of a faculty mentor for the University of Phoenix Online. This will end a long period of unemployment, and, I hope, lead to bigger and better things--such as a paycheck. If the mentor likes my performance in this class, I'll have the opportunity to become a junior member of the faculty. For their final project in this class, my students will have to put together a Powerpoint presentation. Since I'm a newbie at using Powerpoint myself, I was wondering how in the heck I was supposed to grade my students' work. While listening to some cool Celtic music, however, I had a flash of inspiration and created a presentation based on one of my fiction projects--a story about a team of superheroes on a Celtic motif. It's a rare thing when you get to do what feels like goofing off and having fun but can justify it as part of your work! Putting the Powerpoint presentation together got me excited about the story all over again, and I'm going to pick it back up.

I have a new desk at which to work, a new manual wheelchair, and a new electric wheelchair on order. With the assistance of my family, I'm trying to obtain a loan to buy and renovate a condo in Charlotte, NC, which would be a huge improvement over where I'm now living. God is Good!

There are a couple of clouds on the horizon, however. Recently I've noticed a couple of odd things about the way my body is behaving which could be fairly innocuous or which could indicate that something more serious is wrong. I have an appointment with my doctor on Wednesday to discuss these problems and see what he recommends I do. I have a disability and other associated health problems already, and given all the medical adventures family, friends, and I have had in recent years, I have to work hard to keep my imagination from running away with me and envisioning all sorts of worst-case, doomsday explanations for these latest medical oddities. Your prayers, gentle readers, would be appreciated. If, God forbid, there is something seriously amiss with my insides, I pray I can face it with courage and faith. If, on the other hand, it's just a minor glitch or two, then Deo gratias. We shall see.

I do hereby promise also to be a more faithful, frequent, and regular blogger. Until next time friends!

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

So That's How They Do It!

Trust The Onion to bring us the shocking truth.


Disney Lab Unveils Its Latest Line Of Genetically Engineered Child Stars

Hat Tip: Marcel and the gang at Mary's Aggies.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Powerful Words

from abortion survivor and pro-life activist Gianna Jessen



Check out the last sentence: "It is the mercy of God that sustains you--even when you hate him."

Hat Tip: Louise of Purcell's Chicken Voluntary.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

On to Mentorship!

I just received an e-mail from my faculty trainer at Axia College of the University of Phoenix that I successfully completed the second round of training as an online facilitator (instructor). The next step is to move on to a mentorship or student-teaching phase where I will be teaching a course under the supervision of a mentor/evaluator and dealing with actual students. I was fairly confident I'd made it because all my previous feedback during this training session was very positive, but I didn't want to get cocky or say anything until it was official.

I can't adequately describe how pleased and relieved I am. After recent events in my life, I was beginning to wonder if I could ever find anything at which I'd be truly successful. I may be moving soon into better housing as well, but I'll hold off on saying anything more until I see how that situation plays out. God is Good!

Monday, August 04, 2008

Taking a Breather

In the immortal words of Sam Gamgee at the end of The Lord of the Rings:

"Well, I'm back."

Sorry for the relative radio silence over the past couple of weeks. I've been training as an online "facilitator" (they don't call them instructors) for Axia College of The University of Phoenix. There were about ten people in our training group to start with, and I suspect everyone was surprised at how intense the training experience turned out to be—I know I was. There were written assignments and "Discussion Questions" due almost every day, and in addition we were expected to contribute regularly and frequently to an online discussion forum where we thought and talked about the theory and practice of teaching online from just about every conceivable angle. We had some no-shows and several dropouts along the way, I suspect because they underestimated the time and effort it would take to complete the training and realized they couldn't keep it up when they considered what else was going on in their lives.

Overall, I feel fairly positive about how I did. I received an evaluation from the instructor (oops, facilitator) at the end of the first week, and the only specific thing she mentioned that needed improvement was my level of participation in the online forums. I made sure I ramped that up this week. My classmates reacted very positively to what I had to say, and they all struck me as intelligent and highly motivated people. I should get some official feedback on my performance later in the week, including word on whether I can advance to the next, more specialized round of facilitator training. (I told one of my classmates it feels a bit like being a contestant on "American Idol"). Stay tuned. We'll see what happens next. In the meantime, however, now that I can relax a bit, I've got some comic books to read. See you later.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Ain't She Sweet?

I've been so preoccupied with preparing for my training with the University of Phoenix that I've had to put my superhero fiction writing activities on hold temporarily. But I thought I would post the picture that Jeff Hebert, creator of the HeroMachine software, website, and blog, drew for me as a prize for winning his weekly caption contest recently.

This is Celtica, an Irish-American super-heroine, and her faithful hawk companion Branwen.



In the fictional universe I'm trying to create for them, Celtica and Branwen have been chosen to defend Ireland and the rest of the world against the dastardly doings of Malak the Fell, an evil druid/wizard/mage type guy:



I told Jeff I'd like to see Celtica in action as if she were going into battle against Malak. Here's what he came up with:



Pretty cool, I think. Jeff obligingly made three different versions, varying the length of Celtica's staff slightly in each, trying to get the right sense of proportion. This is the one I liked best. Hope you enjoy it!

Monday, July 14, 2008

I Almost Have a Job!

I didn't want to say anything until it was official, but this morning I received an e-mail from Axia College, University of Phoenix, informing me that I've been chosen to participate in a training session for online instructors that starts next week. I hope to be teaching courses in writing, composition, communication, and maybe even a little literature--what used to be called Freshman English or College English.

I've actually been communicating with U of P for several weeks now via phone and e-mail because they have a rather lengthy interview and screening process: an online form, a request for a resume, a series of written questions, a phone interview, and a set of online exercises. I've passed all those preliminary stages satisfactorily and about a month of intensive training (actually a pair of two-week seminars) is the next step. If I complete this core training successfully, I'll then be student-teaching a course under the supervision of a mentor and evaluator. If that goes well, I'll be offered the position of a junior instructor on the faculty.

It would be only a part-time gig (15-20 hours a week), but part-time is better than no-time. I'm trying to do some writing and develop some stories about original characters I've created, and a part-time job like this would still allow me time to write. The job is also an excellent opportunity to network with many professionals, and that networking could lead to something full-time. We'll see.

The only downside is that after more than 20 years as a dedicated Macintosh user, I'll have to "go over to the dark side" and start using a Windows PC. My brother Bill, a U of P graduate, and an employee of a major computer manufacturer, strongly recommended a Windows box and a high-speed internet connection. He helped me pick out the system on which this blog entry is being written. It's nifty having a new state-of-the-art PC, but the Windows Vista operating system (ahem . . . searching for a socially acceptable word) stinks. It's clumsy and balky and illogical to me. Despite several valiant attempts this weekend, Bill was unable to network the Mac and the PC. Using a flash drive to transfer important files is only partially successful, as many of them are somehow corrupted in transport. I've been e-mailing really critical files from the Mac to the PC for several days now, because this seems to be about the only way I've found to transfer data error-free. Steve Jobs was right: Microsoft just has no taste. My Mac seems a little forlorn, reduced to a supporting role and sitting on the corner of my desk, but a guy's gotta do what a guy's gotta do. Honest, little Mac. I still love you!

I have about a million things to do before the online training begins, but it feels great to be busy because you're working towards an ultimate goal. I'm grateful to God for this opportunity and I pray for the grace and strength to make the most of it.

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Still More Heroic Happenings (Or, I won with a fart joke!)

I won! I won! I won! OK . . . Must . . . stop . . . hyperventilating. Breathe . . . Breathe . . . That's it!

Every Tuesday, Jeff Hebert, creator of the HeroMachine software, website, and blog, about which I have written at great length here lately, hosts a caption contest. Jeff searches through his vast library of comics, finds a single panel rich with humorous possibilities, removes the dialogue, and invites readers to substitute their own. The author of the funniest faux dialogue wins a custom black and white illustration of whatever they like (within reason, the artist always hastens to add), drawn by Jeff himself.

This week, after many noble but fruitless attempts, your humble blog host has finally won, albeit with a joke that might seem a tad out of place on a more-or-less Catholic blog like this one. Here's the panel with the original dialogue removed:



Here's the panel with my dialogue inserted:



I've already informed Jeff about what I'd like for my illustration. It will be a drawing of my flagship character, the Irish-American super-heroine Celtica, in a combat stance, as if she's going into battle against her arch-enemy, Malak, an evil wizard. I let Jeff choose whether to put Malak in the picture or not. Jeff says that while the drawing shouldn't be a problem artistically, it may be a week or two before he can get it done because he's on a tight deadline for another important project. I can't wait to see what he comes up with. I've created a link to Jeff's HeroMachine blog and links to some other comics-related sites in a special section of the blogroll on the bottom right.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

More Heroic Happenings

Well, it seems my recent post comparing three popular online superhero generators has generated the most discussion of any post in the history of this blog!

Jeff Hebert, creator of the HeroMachine 2.5 software and website, mentioned my review on his HeroMachine developer's blog. Eduardo Reis, creator of Fábrica de Heróis (aka Hero-O-Matic) left a comment in the commbox for the original post. He even offered to show me a version of my Blue Eagle character that he had created. Thanks, guys. It's nice to be noticed. Reader James said he agreed completely with my assessment, which is also flattering.

Most impressive of all, however, was a comment from reader Laurent who supplied Hero-O-Matic versions of two of my characters, The Blue Eagle and Celtica.

Here's Laurent's interpretation of The Blue Eagle:



Laurent also supplied three possible Hero-O-Matic versions of Celtica, who is more or less my "flagship" character and who holds a special place in my imagination. Laurent created what he called the "Amazon" version:



The "Golden Age" version (i.e., how Celtica might have looked if she had been drawn in the heyday of comic books, the late 1930s to the early 1950s):



and the "Silver Age" version (i.e., how Celtica might have looked if she had been drawn sometime between the mid-1950s and the mid-1970s):




Thanks, Laurent! That's really great work. I hope you enjoyed creating those interpretations. I certainly enjoyed looking at them, and I'm pleased my characters fired your imagination. Now I'm getting excited about these characters all over again, and I hope to create some stories about them.

Monday, May 26, 2008

Repost: Remembering Dad

NOTE: This item was originally posted in 2006.


Today is Memorial Day, the day Americans pause to remember those who gave their lives in service to their country. Today I would like to remember my Dad, William Stewart Leslie (1923-2005). He did not fall in combat, but he served honorably in World War II and the Korean Conflict. He loved his country and taught me to do the same. He fought the real battle to provide for his wife and six kids, all of whom grew up to become decent, honorable, compassionate men and women because of lessons he taught us. He passed from this life in February 2005 after a long battle with lung cancer.

In World War II he served with the U. S. Ninth Air Force based in England. For the most part, he flew P-51 fighter planes. One of his assignments was to shoot down German V-1 and V-2 rockets launched from Holland. He said the rockets were so slow and crude that often just the "prop wash" or air turbulence from his plane flying past the rocket was enough to send it crashing harmlessly into the sea. He told us stories of the funny things that happened during his wartime service: the time he got his cap blown off because he unwittingly stood in front of a loaded cannon, or the time he was appointed "mess officer" for his unit despite the fact that he had no idea how to run a mess hall. He never talked about the scary things, of which I'm sure there must have been a few. I believe he was shot down once. He didn't like to talk about it. Towards the end of his life he had nightmares from which he woke up screaming. I couldn't help wondering if those came from long-buried frightening moments from his war years.

I asked him once if there was ever a moment when he was afraid for his life, scared that he might die. No, he replied, because when you're 19 years old, you're too dumb to be scared. You are convinced that you're 20 feet tall and bulletproof. The other guy will get shot, not you. When I saw TV news stories about the dedication of the World War II Veterans Memorial, I was overcome with a wave of pride and affection for him and called to tell him so. His response, like so many others of "The Greatest Generation" was typical.

"Shoot," he said, "I didn't really do anything."

Yes, you did. And we are grateful.

During the Korean Conflict he was recalled to active duty from the reserves. Somewhere along the way he mentioned his desire to learn Russian, and the next thing he knew, he was enrolled in a special program in Washington, D. C. to study Russian language, history, culture, and geopolitics. It wasn't top secret, but it was confidential. He was instructed to wear civilian clothes and, if asked, just say that he worked for the Defense Department and leave it at that. I believe the photo you see might come from this period. You'll notice that he's standing or sitting against a neutral background, he's well dressed, and looking directly at the camera with a serious expression. It looks like an ID or passport photo to me, but I can't be sure.

Many of his professors in this special program were White Russians or anti-communists who fled after the revolution of 1917. He was amazed at what they knew and how they knew it. Once, after class, one of his professors approached him furtively, looking both ways before speaking.

"Gaspadin (Mister) Leslie," the man said in Russian, "You are . . . pilot, da?"

"Da," Dad replied. He hadn't told anyone he was a pilot.

"I teach you Russian. You teach me to fly, da?"

"Da."

Dad went to a local airport, rented a small plane, and took his professor up for a flying lesson, but quickly realized he didn't have the specialized vocabulary needed to explain the more technical aspects of flying: artificial horizons, ailerons, rudders, pitch, and yaw, and so forth. His efforts to teach his teacher how to fly ended right there, but I've always thought it was a great story. There was also the time a friend of his passed himself off as a native Russian to impress a bimbo and Dad played along; or the time a drunk driver rammed into the picture window of the trailer Dad had rented while he, Mom, and my sister Susan (an infant at the time) were driving cross country. Dad was full of stories, and he told some of them so many times, we were sick of them. Now that he's gone, I'd give anything to hear him tell them again.

He was not a perfect man (no one is), but he was a good man. I think, like many men who came of age during the Great Depression and World War II, he found it difficult to express his deepest emotions in public. Bragging, being conceited, or having an overly exalted opinion of oneself was the worst sin a man could commit. You were supposed to work hard, do your duty, and not call attention to yourself. People made fun of Bob Dole, also a World War II veteran, for sometimes speaking of himself in the third person ("Bob Dole knows . . .") but I believe the habit came out of that fundamental modesty of his generation. Nowadays, when celebs and ordinary people get on TV talk shows, air their dirty laundry in public, and then get all weepy while the rest of us watch, such circumspection and humility are refreshing.

Sometimes, however, I think Dad went too far in trying to prevent us from becoming conceited. His favorite tactic was to conceal his real feelings behind a joke or a left-handed compliment. It made me think sometimes that nothing I did mattered to him. In college I was nearly a straight A student, but in college I also acquired my first serious girlfriend, and I loved her with a passion that only those in love for the first time can manage. I was worried that my grades were slipping because we were spending so much time together. I needn't have worried. Dad's response? "He had a 4.0, but then he met this girl. Ha, ha, ha." It made my blood boil.

I once asked him angrily why he seemed so allergic to paying me a compliment in public. "Because I don't want you to get the big head," he snapped back. We had some friction over the years, to say the least. If there was any good thing about his long final illness, it was that we each had time to look past the bluster and bravado and hurt feelings and say to each other, "I love you and I am proud of you."

I know that he loved me despite the fact that he sometimes had trouble expressing it. He had many jobs throughout his life, and some were more successful than others: airline pilot, filmmaker, salesman, retail business owner. For most of the time I was growing up, he was the regional sales representative for a company that sold heavy construction equipment. His territory extended from Maryland to Mississippi, and often he would leave on business trips on Monday morning and not return until Friday night. That had to be hard, lonely work, but he did it because he loved us. He never once failed to provide us with anything we needed (and often just things we wanted) even if it meant considerable personal and financial sacrifice for him. My three-week trip to England when I was in college that he paid for is a prime example. Now that I'm living on my own and struggling to pay bills just for myself, I have a glimpse of what he must have struggled with to support and provide for a wife and six children.

He stayed with me faithfully whenever I had to be hospitalized for surgery related to my disability. Once in particular, I went through a kind of withdrawal as I came down off the painkillers and anesthesia. I was terrified, convinced that something awful was about to happen, and didn't want to be left alone. He stayed with me, after visiting hours were over, until I fell asleep. I awoke hours later in complete peace and darkness as all the chemicals had left my body. I called out to him but realized he must have slipped out after I fell asleep. I was so grateful to him! Last year, after his passing, when I was in ICU with that terrible bladder infection, I thought that if I squinted hard enough I could almost see him sitting in the chair at the foot of the bed as he had so faithfully so many times before.

There's a sequence from the movie It's a Wonderful Life that expresses perfectly how I feel about my Dad. Young George Bailey is working for Mr. Gower, the local druggist, as a delivery boy. One day, George notices that Mr. Gower has received a telegram informing him that his son has died of influenza. Mr. Gower, distraught with grief, has accidentally put rat poison into some capsules and sent George out to deliver them, thinking they are medicine for a sick little boy. George, knowing the truth, looks around desperately for help. Suddenly, he sees a billboard reading, "Ask Dad. He knows." George runs off, tells his father what's happened, and waits for Mr. Gower to come to his senses. When George tells Mr. Gower what's happened, the man is incredibly grateful. George's quick thinking has saved a boy's life and Mr. Gower's business.

Dad was always that anchor of stability and wisdom for me in the same way that George Bailey's dad was for him. Even when we were bickering, I knew that if I really got in a jam, I could ask Dad. He knew. He would fix it. He would make it OK. Because he was Dad. I miss him. But I remember what he taught me about hard work and doing your best and keeping your promises. And I know. And it will be OK.

Eternal Rest grant unto him, O Lord, and may perpetual light shine upon him. Amen.

Rest in peace, Dad. I love you.

Heroes, Heroes, Everywhere!

in my imagination, anyway.

Back in March I waxed poetic about HeroMachine 2.5, the web browser-based software that makes it possible even for an artistically challenged dweeb such as myself to draw my own superheroes. Since then I've gone bananas with the silly thing and created whole battalions full of heroes, villains, and supporting players. I'm trying to create a fictional universe for some of them to live in.The HeroMachine software is now available for download, so users don't have to be online to create their own heroes. Since it relies on the Flash plug-in available for most web browsers, the software should work equally well on both Windows-based machines and Macs.

"But wait! There's more!" as the TV pitchmen say. Since finding HeroMachine, I've discovered two other online superhero generators: Create Your Own Superhero, part of the Marvel Comics website, and Fábrica de Heróis, which I'm guessing is Portuguese for "Hero Maker" or something similar. The entire application and the accompanying blog are in Portuguese since the creator, Eduardo Reis, is Brazilian, but a little experimentation should help users overcome the language barrier. I hope he'll consider releasing an English language version in the future. I gather that a previous version was called Hero-O-Matic, and that's how many people on the Web still refer to it.

All three superhero generators offer distinctly different drawing styles and unique features, which give the aspiring artist and storyteller many options to chose from. Here for example, is one of the first characters I created with Heromachine, the warrior maiden Celtica, an Irish-American super-heroine, and her hawk companion Branwen:



Compare that to, say, Lady Liberty, another super-heroine I designed using the Marvel Create Your Own Superhero site:



Now compare that to a character I created with Fábrica de Heróis (aka Hero-O-Matic), Cinco de Mayo, a Latina heroine:




Lest you think that I spend all my time drawing pictures of buxom, scantily clad young women, I also draw pictures of guy heroes too. It's interesting to draw different versions of the same character using the different sites and compare the results. Here, for example, is a hero I first drew on the Marvel site, The Blue Eagle:



Compare that with his HeroMachine version:



Notice that with the HeroMachine version, I ditched the helmet because I couldn't find a helmet I really liked. I haven't done comparison versions using Hero-o-Matic yet, because I've only just discovered it, but you can compare The Blue Eagle, versions 1 and 2, with another patriotic hero, The Defender:



Overall, I still think HeroMachine is the best of the three generators, Hero-O-Matic runs a close second with many impressive features, and the Marvel Create Your Own Superhero site is a distant third. HeroMachine is significantly ahead of the other two in ease of use and range of features. The ability to download the software and have it run on your own computer is a huge bonus the other two can't match. HeroMachine is also unique because it allows users to save the parameters of their characters as lines of code and reload them into the application for later character editing. The Marvel site allows users to save their characters on Marvel's servers for later reloading and editing, but users must register with Marvel.com and can save only five characters at a time. Surprisingly, Hero-O-Matic has no way at all for character images to be saved and reloaded later for editing. When users of Hero-O-Matic want to edit a previously saved character, they must rebuild the character from scratch every time. That's annoying, to put it mildly. The final images in HeroMachine are the largest of the three, allowing the artist to easily see the individual item being worked on. Items in Hero-O-Matic are the smallest and most cartoon-like.

Items in both HeroMachine and Hero-O-Matic can be drawn with wide array of primary and secondary colors, but Hero-O-Matic's color menu can be tricky to navigate. The Marvel site offers only one color for each item, with lots of duplicate colors. HeroMachine also offers the widest assortment of possible backgrounds for characters, ranging from one and two color combinations to real settings, including cityscapes, deserts, jungle, a castle, and a futuristic science lab. Backgrounds in Hero-O-Matic and Marvel's site are limited to one color or combinations of two colors.

HeroMachine and the Marvel site allow the user to select thumbnails of items before they're added to the character, but Marvel has a paltry few choices compared to HeroMachine, and users of Hero-O-Matic have to click through all the options for an item in order by clicking arrow buttons. Both HeroMachine and Hero-O-Matic allow for layering of characters clothes and weapons, which creates some interesting effects, but Marvel's use of layering is very limited. Apparently, only Hero-O-Matic allows for variance in the texture and transparency of items, but I have yet to make full use of these features. Marvel does allow users to save their creations to their hard drives as JPEG files, but this feature runs slowly and is liable to balk, especially if there are other applications running in the background. Users can save their creations simply by taking screenshots in all three applications.

In short, the budding superhero creator who can't draw has some choices available, but in my opinion HeroMachine 2.5 is the best.

Amended June 29, 2008.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Whack a Penguin!

Dale Price, author of the Dyspeptic Mutterings blog, has enriched my life in so many ways--with his snarky commentaries on, well, just about everything, including the Catholic Church, politics, and sports, not to mention the occasional photo post of his ridiculously cute kids--but never more so than when, as a public service to all humanity, he posted a link to this delicious bit of internet-based, time-wasting goodness: The Whack a Penguin Game!

Click the mouse once, and the yeti will assume the ready position, like a batter in the batter's box. The penguin will dive off the top the iceberg. Click the mouse again, and the yeti will take a swing. If you time it just right, the yeti will send the penguin flying, and the game will automatically record the distance and your highest score--in somewhat gruesome fashion, however. The sign comes down out of the sky and spears the poor penguin clean through.

After two days of trying, I've achieved a new personal best of 317.2. I've even included documentary evidence of this titanic achievement:

America's newest athletic sensation takes time out to chat with the "It's All Straw" sports department after his latest entry into the record books

Don't let anyone tell you the internet isn't educational.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

The Nine Billion Names of Borg

Hey kids! Ever wish you could be a cybernetic organism or a robotic artificial intelligence mercilessly crushing all those petty carbon-based units and hopelessly inferior biological life-forms that stood in your way?

Well, now you can with with The Cyborg Name Coder. This name generating engine will take the name of anyone you choose and generate a cool, science-fictiony acronym that makes them sound like the baddest hunk of high-tech hardware around. For example, depending on how I choose to spell my first name (Neil or Niall), I can be a:


Networked Electronic Infiltration Lifeform


Get Your Cyborg Name



Or I can be a:


Networked Intelligent Assassination and Learning Lifeform


Get Your Cyborg Name



The one I like best, however, is based on my last name, so don't mess with me because I'm a:


Lifelike Electronic Sabotage and Logical Infiltration Entity


Get Your Cyborg Name



So there.

(H/T: D. G. D. Davidson at Sci-Fi Catholic).

Friday, April 11, 2008

Rights for Chickens but Not for Monks


Well, I was looking for something to blog about, and sure enough I found it. On the front page of this week's Catholic Miscellany, my diocesan newspaper, I found this story:

The monks at Mepkin Abbey [Moncks Corner, SC] have started the search for a new way to support themselves once their popular egg production business comes to an end.

In December the abbey announced it would begin phasing out the 56 year-old business, citing pressure from People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals over treatment of chickens as one of the reasons. Public protests and a threatened boycott by PETA that started in summer 2007 put unwanted pressure on the Trappist monks and interfered with their quiet life of prayer and work.


The story goes on to point out that "Sales averaging nine million eggs a year have generated around $140,000, which is about 60 percent of the abbey's annual income, according to figures released by Abbot Stan Gumula."

So a monastery that has supported itself for close to 60 years by selling eggs now has to sacrifice 60 percent of its annual income to satisfy a bunch of animal-rights wackos who espouse opinions contrary to Catholic teaching, historical fact, and plain common sense?

PETA, you may be aware, is that fine, upstanding bunch of Scripture scholars who promote the idea that Jesus was a vegetarian. I'm distressed to see that one of the ecumenical team of clergymen employed to promote this view is Father John Dear, a Jesuit. Father Dear (no pun intended) and his cohorts have to employ some verbal tap-dancing to get around the fact that the only miracle recorded in all four gospels involves Jesus feeding more than 5,000 people--with fish. The whole idea that the Last Supper was a Passover meal, which would have involved eating lamb, poses similar difficulties. They insist that Jesus didn't eat the Passover lamb, but they provide no persuasive evidence for this. They discount the accounts of post-Resurrection appearances of Jesus which specifically state that Jesus ate fish in the disciples' presence. Their reason? "Most biblical scholars" or "many biblical scholars" don't believe these events really took place. It's enough to make you think that the purpose of a "biblical scholar" these days is to make you believe that nothing in the Bible actually happened.

When I read about PETA and similar animal rights groups, I'm reminded of G. K. Chesterton's observation about the maniac who "is in the clean and well-lit prison of one idea: he is sharpened to one painful point. He is without healthy hesitation and healthy complexity." PETA's one idea, that they carry to maniacal extremes is that animals should be treated compassionately--according to their standard of compassion--and they're willing to oppose anybody who doesn't live up to that standard.

No sane, humane person is in favor of cruelty to animals. If PETA had legitimate concerns about the treatment of the chickens, did PETA representatives even attempt to meet with representatives of the abbey to discuss the issue? I don't get that impression. Someone from PETA faxed the abbot (They couldn't even bother to send him a letter?) in February 2007. The promotional materials PETA distributed openly accuse the abbey of lying to the press and public about its treatment of the chickens. It sounds as if PETA threatened protests and boycotts almost immediately.

Well, I hope they're happy. They got what they wanted. But if you ask me, it's PETA, not the monks who have "egg on their face" this time.